A few years back my cousin’s daughter, who was a twenty year old sophomore at Temple College, wanted to help her mom out financially. Her mother is a single mother who’d fallen on some hard times, and she was struggling to pay her daughters tuition on her own. So she confided in a younger cousin of ours (I have a very large family) that she knew some girls that danced and she was thinking of moonlighting as a dancer… without her clothes on. Needless to say that once this information circulated around my family every one banded together and did an intervention. Her mother was upset over the fact her daughter had even thought about being and exotic dancer.
That incident occurred about three years ago. My cousin confided in me that her son has been moonlighting as an exotic dancer for about a week to assist with his college fees. I was surprised that she had no problem with this, since she was very upset that her daughter had thought about it. When I asked my cousin how could she let her son dance? She said what can she do to stop him? He’s over the age of 18 now and a grown man now I can’t tell him what to do, he has his mind.
I also asked her why she thought it was ok for her son to dance and not her daughter. She said it was different for boys than it is for girls, and he can handle himself if a woman tries to get physical with him, however a woman is more vulnerable when she dances and can be victimized. Do you think that it is ok for men to be male exotic dancers, more so than women for the reason that my cousin pointed out? Would you feel differently about a woman who danced than a man… on a moral level?
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Week Five Eureka Moment
Hi Everybody!!!
I got a little chuckle out of my eureka moment this week. Yesterday I was sitting in my car outside of a store waiting for my mother to come out and there was a group of about three boys waiting outside the store and they were talking amongst themselves. They all looked around eighteen to twenty years old. The store that my mother was in sat next to a store that sales dirty videos and porn, and I observed a young man excite the store with a brown bag and he came over to the young men who were standing in front of the store and told his friends to look at a lady that had excited the porn shop behind him.
I listened as the young men as they began to make comments on how they felt she must be a "real freak" and they made jokes about what they could do to help her out. They gawked at her and made comments to each other as she got into her car and drove off. They seemed to be fascinated by the fact that a woman would have the audacity to by porn and they felt that she had to be a slut or easy.
Actually the young lady was a pretty girl around her early twenties. She was dressed conservatively in a pair of dress pants, white dress shirt and heels. She looked to be very professional.
My eureka moment is none of the gentleman seemed to think poorly of themselves or the other men that I observed coming and going out of the porn shop. There was young men, old men, men who looked like they had money and men who looked poor; yet nothing was said about them.
When my mother got into the car I told her what had happened. Keeping in mind that my mother is fifty-nine years old, she said that the young lady should be ashamed of herself. I asked her what did she think of the boys and she said “Boys will be boys.” Honestly I also found it kind of odd to see a young woman exciting a sex shop all by herself and my opinion was not that high of her. However I also thought it was a little odd for so many men to be going in and out of a sex shop all day as well. My opinion and the men and woman was a little questionable.
My question to you guys is do you think the young lady is freaky or easy because she purchased porn? Is it more acceptable for men to express their sexuality than women? Do you think women are repressed because of the way they feel that both men and women will view them if they act as they truly feel?
I got a little chuckle out of my eureka moment this week. Yesterday I was sitting in my car outside of a store waiting for my mother to come out and there was a group of about three boys waiting outside the store and they were talking amongst themselves. They all looked around eighteen to twenty years old. The store that my mother was in sat next to a store that sales dirty videos and porn, and I observed a young man excite the store with a brown bag and he came over to the young men who were standing in front of the store and told his friends to look at a lady that had excited the porn shop behind him.
I listened as the young men as they began to make comments on how they felt she must be a "real freak" and they made jokes about what they could do to help her out. They gawked at her and made comments to each other as she got into her car and drove off. They seemed to be fascinated by the fact that a woman would have the audacity to by porn and they felt that she had to be a slut or easy.
Actually the young lady was a pretty girl around her early twenties. She was dressed conservatively in a pair of dress pants, white dress shirt and heels. She looked to be very professional.
My eureka moment is none of the gentleman seemed to think poorly of themselves or the other men that I observed coming and going out of the porn shop. There was young men, old men, men who looked like they had money and men who looked poor; yet nothing was said about them.
When my mother got into the car I told her what had happened. Keeping in mind that my mother is fifty-nine years old, she said that the young lady should be ashamed of herself. I asked her what did she think of the boys and she said “Boys will be boys.” Honestly I also found it kind of odd to see a young woman exciting a sex shop all by herself and my opinion was not that high of her. However I also thought it was a little odd for so many men to be going in and out of a sex shop all day as well. My opinion and the men and woman was a little questionable.
My question to you guys is do you think the young lady is freaky or easy because she purchased porn? Is it more acceptable for men to express their sexuality than women? Do you think women are repressed because of the way they feel that both men and women will view them if they act as they truly feel?
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Week Four: Eureka Moment
Hi everyone! This week I have an old eureka moment that came back to mind while I was sitting watching TV. I saw a commercial for a movie that I saw a while back called “The Watchmen.” I love watching sci-fi of any kind and I figured the Watchmen would be right up my alley. It is about superheroes and I thought it would be like “Spiderman” or “X-Men” type of movie. The movie was rated R and I am an adult so I had no problem with the rating. I assumed it would be for brief nudity and maybe some violence.
Once we started watching the movie it was a lot of nudity and a lot of violence. Actually I was still ok with this. What shocked me was that they continually showed a full frontal of the “Blue Man”….a lot. I am a big girl and I have seen the male anatomy a bit and truly didn’t mind watching it. However I thought it was a bit much and I found myself thinking this movie should be rated NC 17 or better. The more they showed it the more I was taken aback. I became overly preoccupied with how many times they showed his “willie.” People began to get up and leave the theatre that had children with them…and I honestly couldn’t blame them.
I remember thinking this movie was wrongly rated and they should not show a man’s private areas on an R rated movie. The odd thing is I recall seeing a lot of R rated features that showed full frontals of women and it never crossed my mind that the rating was wrong. I found an article that actually said the same thing. As I sat and thought about it I began to see the unfairness of it. Should it be taboo to show a man’s private areas but ok to show a woman’s private parts? There are lots of R rated features that show’s lots of female nudity and it is exceptable. What does this say about women? That are body are less important than a mans?
My question to everyone is do you feel that a movie that shows a man’s private area should receive a harsher rating than a movie that shows a woman's boobs? I found an article listed below about the movie.
http://blog.spout.com/2009/03/06/watchmen-penis-offends-conservative-critics-today-in-film-bloggery-030609/
Once we started watching the movie it was a lot of nudity and a lot of violence. Actually I was still ok with this. What shocked me was that they continually showed a full frontal of the “Blue Man”….a lot. I am a big girl and I have seen the male anatomy a bit and truly didn’t mind watching it. However I thought it was a bit much and I found myself thinking this movie should be rated NC 17 or better. The more they showed it the more I was taken aback. I became overly preoccupied with how many times they showed his “willie.” People began to get up and leave the theatre that had children with them…and I honestly couldn’t blame them.
I remember thinking this movie was wrongly rated and they should not show a man’s private areas on an R rated movie. The odd thing is I recall seeing a lot of R rated features that showed full frontals of women and it never crossed my mind that the rating was wrong. I found an article that actually said the same thing. As I sat and thought about it I began to see the unfairness of it. Should it be taboo to show a man’s private areas but ok to show a woman’s private parts? There are lots of R rated features that show’s lots of female nudity and it is exceptable. What does this say about women? That are body are less important than a mans?
My question to everyone is do you feel that a movie that shows a man’s private area should receive a harsher rating than a movie that shows a woman's boobs? I found an article listed below about the movie.
http://blog.spout.com/2009/03/06/watchmen-penis-offends-conservative-critics-today-in-film-bloggery-030609/
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Week Three: Eureka Moment
Howdy Everyone!
Let me give you guys a background on my story first. I have co-worker who is a gay (and I consider him to be a good friend) and about three years ago he got into a religious group that said they could help him overcome and battle his (and I quote what he said) “Gay Demons.” He also told me that they treat being gay as if it is a mental disorder that needs to be cured. Overall they feel that it is a condition that can be changed. He went through a few classes and support groups and was proclaimed to be cured. He still attends support groups and he has a sponsor, kind of like with AA. He married a woman that following year and entered into his first ever heterosexual relationship.
Now it is two years later and he is still married and from what he says he is happy. However he says his wife is not. She feels that they don’t enough sex and he asked me what he should do about it. He is in his late forties and he says they don’t do it much because his sex driver isn’t what it used to be.
Usually when he talks to me I very rarely give him advice I tend to listen and say neutral things like “This is your life you need to decide what is right for you,” or “Maybe you should talk this out with your wife” or “It really doesn’t matter what I think.” When I ask him if he is still attracted to men, he tells me that he is and that when he is intimate with his wife he usually will think of her as a man. I told him that I would be insulted if the man I was with was thinking about someone else during such a touching moment. Yet he states he has never cheated on his wife since they got married.
My question to you guys is due you think someone can go from gay to straight? I have listed some of the sights that give counseling on converting gays and lesbian. What do you think? Do you think my friend is being fair to his wife and to himself, because honestly I don’t have a clue?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ex-gay_movement
http://www.gayintostraightamerica.com/584.html
http://www.lesbiannewspaper.com/2009/03/converting-gays-and-lesbians.html
Let me give you guys a background on my story first. I have co-worker who is a gay (and I consider him to be a good friend) and about three years ago he got into a religious group that said they could help him overcome and battle his (and I quote what he said) “Gay Demons.” He also told me that they treat being gay as if it is a mental disorder that needs to be cured. Overall they feel that it is a condition that can be changed. He went through a few classes and support groups and was proclaimed to be cured. He still attends support groups and he has a sponsor, kind of like with AA. He married a woman that following year and entered into his first ever heterosexual relationship.
Now it is two years later and he is still married and from what he says he is happy. However he says his wife is not. She feels that they don’t enough sex and he asked me what he should do about it. He is in his late forties and he says they don’t do it much because his sex driver isn’t what it used to be.
Usually when he talks to me I very rarely give him advice I tend to listen and say neutral things like “This is your life you need to decide what is right for you,” or “Maybe you should talk this out with your wife” or “It really doesn’t matter what I think.” When I ask him if he is still attracted to men, he tells me that he is and that when he is intimate with his wife he usually will think of her as a man. I told him that I would be insulted if the man I was with was thinking about someone else during such a touching moment. Yet he states he has never cheated on his wife since they got married.
My question to you guys is due you think someone can go from gay to straight? I have listed some of the sights that give counseling on converting gays and lesbian. What do you think? Do you think my friend is being fair to his wife and to himself, because honestly I don’t have a clue?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ex-gay_movement
http://www.gayintostraightamerica.com/584.html
http://www.lesbiannewspaper.com/2009/03/converting-gays-and-lesbians.html
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Week Two Eureka Moment
I am presently doing the Goldie Hawn / Kurt Russell thing or as my grandmother used to say I’m shacking up. My sweetie and I have been together for ten years and have lived together for eight of those years and we haven’t gotten married, and to be honest we aren’t in a rush to get married.
The other day while at a family cookout I was approached by an Aunt of mine whom I don’t see often. She’s in her early sixties and is very opinionated …as I assume most aunts of a certain age can be. Anyway she asked me if I was still “shacking up” with that boy. I told her that we were indeed still living together; in fact we purchased a house two years ago together. She proceeded to wonder out loud “Why don’t you make that man make an honest woman out of you?”
First I must say I am not a liar, so I don’t know how his marring me will make me an honest woman. Why can’t me marring him make him an honest man? Her statement made me feel as if I am somehow sullied by living with a man, yet he remains untarnished by our present living arrangement. Her statement also implies that I would have to force him to marry me, which is also not the case. I politely told my aunt that we are happy the way we are and I didn’t mind not being married. Even though she dropped the subject she gave me a doubtful look as if to say she didn’t think a woman could be happy without being married.
My aunt isn’t the only person who assumes these things. I have noticed that most people will automatically assume that he is the one that doesn’t want to get married or that our situation needs to be fixed in some way, and marriage is the only way to fix it.
Don’t get me wrong I want to get married one day and I support the institution of marriage. It just isn't a major priority right now. I feel like if I ran down to the justice of the piece today to get married, I would be doing it to shut people up and not because it is something I want to do. I wanted to finish school before I got married and a series of unfortunate and fortunate events occurred through the years that kept me from accomplishing my goals and postponed any nuptials. I feel like it is what it is and I really don't see what the big deal is.
In my quest to see what other people may think about this I visited a few websites and I was surprised to find a lot of sights that really spoke very harshly about people who chose to shack up. Dr. Laura is one of them http://www.drlaurablog.com/category/shacking-up/ although I found her views to be very archaic and over the top, she wasn’t the only sight that didn’t approve of shaking up. http://www.gospelpreceptor.com/Northrp6.htm . Since I’d found so many sights that disapproved of cohabitating I was pleasantly surprised to find a sight that was all about the positive aspects of living together. http://www.unmarried.org/experts.html
I personally don’t think that all women are waiting around for a ring. Do you feel that all committed couples should be married and why? Do you automatically assume that if a couple isn’t married it is because the man is holding out? Also I am curious if anyone agrees with any of the points of views on any of the sights above?
The other day while at a family cookout I was approached by an Aunt of mine whom I don’t see often. She’s in her early sixties and is very opinionated …as I assume most aunts of a certain age can be. Anyway she asked me if I was still “shacking up” with that boy. I told her that we were indeed still living together; in fact we purchased a house two years ago together. She proceeded to wonder out loud “Why don’t you make that man make an honest woman out of you?”
First I must say I am not a liar, so I don’t know how his marring me will make me an honest woman. Why can’t me marring him make him an honest man? Her statement made me feel as if I am somehow sullied by living with a man, yet he remains untarnished by our present living arrangement. Her statement also implies that I would have to force him to marry me, which is also not the case. I politely told my aunt that we are happy the way we are and I didn’t mind not being married. Even though she dropped the subject she gave me a doubtful look as if to say she didn’t think a woman could be happy without being married.
My aunt isn’t the only person who assumes these things. I have noticed that most people will automatically assume that he is the one that doesn’t want to get married or that our situation needs to be fixed in some way, and marriage is the only way to fix it.
Don’t get me wrong I want to get married one day and I support the institution of marriage. It just isn't a major priority right now. I feel like if I ran down to the justice of the piece today to get married, I would be doing it to shut people up and not because it is something I want to do. I wanted to finish school before I got married and a series of unfortunate and fortunate events occurred through the years that kept me from accomplishing my goals and postponed any nuptials. I feel like it is what it is and I really don't see what the big deal is.
In my quest to see what other people may think about this I visited a few websites and I was surprised to find a lot of sights that really spoke very harshly about people who chose to shack up. Dr. Laura is one of them http://www.drlaurablog.com/category/shacking-up/ although I found her views to be very archaic and over the top, she wasn’t the only sight that didn’t approve of shaking up. http://www.gospelpreceptor.com/Northrp6.htm . Since I’d found so many sights that disapproved of cohabitating I was pleasantly surprised to find a sight that was all about the positive aspects of living together. http://www.unmarried.org/experts.html
I personally don’t think that all women are waiting around for a ring. Do you feel that all committed couples should be married and why? Do you automatically assume that if a couple isn’t married it is because the man is holding out? Also I am curious if anyone agrees with any of the points of views on any of the sights above?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Week One
Hi everyone my name is Kesha and I am the proud mother of two handsome young men, ages 9 and 1. I guess I should tell you guys a little bit about myself. I am a thirtish year old junior in the Continuing Studies College at Rider University. I presently work for the State of New Jersey at Motor Vehicle Commission in the Soil/Bankruptcy Department. After dealing with irate callers for several years about various driving offenses that they haven’t committed or were wrongly accused of I decided I needed to change my career. So in 2008 I decided to go back to college and get my Bachelors in something. That something turned out to be Liberal Studies with a minor in English.
So far I am really excited about this class. This is my first blog. I’ve heard of bloggers and I’ve seen a few in passing on the internet but I have never taken the time to attempt to start one or read one for that matter. So I’m stoked to be an official blogger. Yippie for me!!! I must make excuses for myself early on, my grammar and spelling can be a little off at times so forgive me in advance for any grammar errors I make.
So far I’ve read the first three chapters of our textbook and I must say this book is definitely not your usual textbook. I like the personal feel that the author gives to the book. There were many things I agreed with and a few things I didn’t agree with but overall I think it will be a very interesting semester. I am hoping to gain a better insight into people and how they feel and view themselves as far as their gender is concerned. I am not your average girl and I have never really focused too much on being the perfect girl or cared how people view me as long as I am happy with me and I don't infringe on anyone else. I grew up with three brothers and I tend to like a lot of “unladylike things” such as; video games and basketball…well since the WNBA came into play it may not be viewed as an all male sport any more. Anyway I’m hoping this class will take me out of my comfort zone and show me other ways of view gender and how other people wish others to view them.
So far I am really excited about this class. This is my first blog. I’ve heard of bloggers and I’ve seen a few in passing on the internet but I have never taken the time to attempt to start one or read one for that matter. So I’m stoked to be an official blogger. Yippie for me!!! I must make excuses for myself early on, my grammar and spelling can be a little off at times so forgive me in advance for any grammar errors I make.
So far I’ve read the first three chapters of our textbook and I must say this book is definitely not your usual textbook. I like the personal feel that the author gives to the book. There were many things I agreed with and a few things I didn’t agree with but overall I think it will be a very interesting semester. I am hoping to gain a better insight into people and how they feel and view themselves as far as their gender is concerned. I am not your average girl and I have never really focused too much on being the perfect girl or cared how people view me as long as I am happy with me and I don't infringe on anyone else. I grew up with three brothers and I tend to like a lot of “unladylike things” such as; video games and basketball…well since the WNBA came into play it may not be viewed as an all male sport any more. Anyway I’m hoping this class will take me out of my comfort zone and show me other ways of view gender and how other people wish others to view them.
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