Hi Everybody!!!
I got a little chuckle out of my eureka moment this week. Yesterday I was sitting in my car outside of a store waiting for my mother to come out and there was a group of about three boys waiting outside the store and they were talking amongst themselves. They all looked around eighteen to twenty years old. The store that my mother was in sat next to a store that sales dirty videos and porn, and I observed a young man excite the store with a brown bag and he came over to the young men who were standing in front of the store and told his friends to look at a lady that had excited the porn shop behind him.
I listened as the young men as they began to make comments on how they felt she must be a "real freak" and they made jokes about what they could do to help her out. They gawked at her and made comments to each other as she got into her car and drove off. They seemed to be fascinated by the fact that a woman would have the audacity to by porn and they felt that she had to be a slut or easy.
Actually the young lady was a pretty girl around her early twenties. She was dressed conservatively in a pair of dress pants, white dress shirt and heels. She looked to be very professional.
My eureka moment is none of the gentleman seemed to think poorly of themselves or the other men that I observed coming and going out of the porn shop. There was young men, old men, men who looked like they had money and men who looked poor; yet nothing was said about them.
When my mother got into the car I told her what had happened. Keeping in mind that my mother is fifty-nine years old, she said that the young lady should be ashamed of herself. I asked her what did she think of the boys and she said “Boys will be boys.” Honestly I also found it kind of odd to see a young woman exciting a sex shop all by herself and my opinion was not that high of her. However I also thought it was a little odd for so many men to be going in and out of a sex shop all day as well. My opinion and the men and woman was a little questionable.
My question to you guys is do you think the young lady is freaky or easy because she purchased porn? Is it more acceptable for men to express their sexuality than women? Do you think women are repressed because of the way they feel that both men and women will view them if they act as they truly feel?
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Response to Teandra,
ReplyDeleteI think you handle the situation marvelously. Believe it or not men are not the only ones who feel attacked when they have to pay child support. I work at motor vehicles and your driver’s license will get suspended if you don’t pay child support. You would be surprised at the number of women who don’t pay child support. I think people automatically assume that only men pay child support or only men can be dead beats. I’ve noticed that more women get suspended due to failure to pay child support than men do. I just think that women don’t complain about it because they are ashamed they that don’t have their children were as men are more vocal and feel violated. In a lot of cases they felt like they didn’t want the child. Men can feel trapped in a situation they may not have wanted. However the bottom line is if you are a parent whether you are ready to be one or not you have to take care of your child. Also child support is based off each individual’s salary and the courts don’t impose. I’ve seen parents who have to pay $60 a month and aren’t able to do that so I don’t really feel sympathy for anyone who has to pay child support. I think it is a given that if you are not the parent taking care of your child more than half of the time than you should not have a problem paying child support, whether it is imposed by the courts or a verbal understanding between the two parties involved. A don’t think that child support is a male dominated issue. Many men are gaining custody of their children every day. I am curious, did you brother apply for partial custody, in which case he wouldn’t have to worry about child support and he would have an active role in his child’s life. I know a lot of men that have done that any none of them have been denied by the courts. The problem is so few men and women take advantage of the rights that they have, they would rather spend their energy complaining about pay support instead of saying how they can be a bigger part of their child’s life. If you ask the same parents that pay child support if they to advantage of their rights, they will usually say they haven’t had the time, or why should they go through trouble, very few parents think about what is good for the child. It is no longer about that persons feelings or wants you must always do what is best for you child whether you are a mother or father.
Response to Tiffany,
ReplyDeleteFirst off I must say I have a playstation 3 and I love to play video games myself. I don’t know many other women who like to play. I very rarely if ever talk to other players while I’m playing online because a lot of men will be very condescending, and they will treat you differently and I don’t like that. They will try to hit on you or trash talk you. I wonder if that guy would have helped you if you were another guy…just a thought. I think Nik or Mike would be better equipped to answer this question, but it sounds like he was being a little territorial. The fact that he announced to the other guy that you were his fiancé was letting the other guy know that you were off limits and it probably came from jealously.
I am in the same situation as you; however I know that if I told my boyfriend that I wanted to go to the justice of the peace tomorrow and get married he would do it to please me. We are only waiting now because I want to pursue a career and he is fine with that. My question to you is it a mutual decision not to get married or has he made this decision on his own and you are going along with it. I think you guys have to talk and you have to explain to him what will make you happy. It can be all one person’s way.
I personally don’t feel that the situation was so bad. What I think is bad is that it sounds like you really want to be married and maybe you haven’t expressed you feeling to him enough. You guys should be on the same page.
Response to Nik B.
ReplyDeleteI think people in general tend to want what they can’t have. I’ve been a single mother and I’ve worked all my life. There was a time that I wanted to stay at home and be an at home mother. So for my first son I stayed at home for the first two years of his life. I must say It is hard work. It is harder than getting up and going to work and school every day. You can leave your job, but when you are an at home mom your job is with you all day and all night and you don’t getting any breaks, especially if you are a single mother. It is the hardest and most rewarding job that anyone can have. You really don’t know what you want until you give it a try. I love going after a career and I like the fact that I got to stay home with my son but I would not want to be an at home mom all the time. I think most women just want the option to be able to choose. If they want to say home they can stay home or if they want a career they can pursue a career. We want to be able to explore our option and not have them dictated to us through societal standards of what a woman should want to do. I don’t think that all women want the same things and there isn’t one mold that old women fit into.
To me Sex in the City and show’s like it are parody’s or charactures of real women lives. It has a lot of similarities, but the topics that they focus on are blown out of proportion and so over the top that it can be more extreme than reality.
Its funny how amazed guys get when a girl will look at porn. I guess its because they accept the fact that men are labeled as the gender who cant help but think about sex constantly, where as women, it's dirty or unheard of for them to act that way. I think that a lot of the reason for this boils down to the same reason why men are considered pimps if they sleep with large amounts of women, but women are slutty if they do.
ReplyDeleteFact of the matter is, that woman would have been buying that as a joke for a bachelorette gift, herself, her husband - you never know, but it's def. obvious that men/boys/males in general are always going to be viewed as the ones who are immature and is expected and acceptable for them to act in certain ways and to do certain things. They embrace society's view and stereotype, I wonder how women would be viewed if we embraced societies view and stereotype that women are emotional head cases who cry, overreact, and dramatize every situation. What would the reaction be if a woman stormed around crying and spreading gossip and when approached about it, the woman just laughing and saying so? i'm a woman, thats what the sterotype is, so whats the matter with me acting this way? Which is basically how men react about their behavior. Would women be respected for it the way men are for their behaviors? Would it become acceptable?
...double-standards :-/
-Taran