Week Two Eureka Moment

I am presently doing the Goldie Hawn / Kurt Russell thing or as my grandmother used to say I’m shacking up. My sweetie and I have been together for ten years and have lived together for eight of those years and we haven’t gotten married, and to be honest we aren’t in a rush to get married.

The other day while at a family cookout I was approached by an Aunt of mine whom I don’t see often. She’s in her early sixties and is very opinionated …as I assume most aunts of a certain age can be. Anyway she asked me if I was still “shacking up” with that boy. I told her that we were indeed still living together; in fact we purchased a house two years ago together. She proceeded to wonder out loud “Why don’t you make that man make an honest woman out of you?”

First I must say I am not a liar, so I don’t know how his marring me will make me an honest woman. Why can’t me marring him make him an honest man? Her statement made me feel as if I am somehow sullied by living with a man, yet he remains untarnished by our present living arrangement. Her statement also implies that I would have to force him to marry me, which is also not the case. I politely told my aunt that we are happy the way we are and I didn’t mind not being married. Even though she dropped the subject she gave me a doubtful look as if to say she didn’t think a woman could be happy without being married.

My aunt isn’t the only person who assumes these things. I have noticed that most people will automatically assume that he is the one that doesn’t want to get married or that our situation needs to be fixed in some way, and marriage is the only way to fix it.

Don’t get me wrong I want to get married one day and I support the institution of marriage. It just isn't a major priority right now. I feel like if I ran down to the justice of the piece today to get married, I would be doing it to shut people up and not because it is something I want to do. I wanted to finish school before I got married and a series of unfortunate and fortunate events occurred through the years that kept me from accomplishing my goals and postponed any nuptials. I feel like it is what it is and I really don't see what the big deal is.

In my quest to see what other people may think about this I visited a few websites and I was surprised to find a lot of sights that really spoke very harshly about people who chose to shack up. Dr. Laura is one of them http://www.drlaurablog.com/category/shacking-up/ although I found her views to be very archaic and over the top, she wasn’t the only sight that didn’t approve of shaking up. http://www.gospelpreceptor.com/Northrp6.htm . Since I’d found so many sights that disapproved of cohabitating I was pleasantly surprised to find a sight that was all about the positive aspects of living together. http://www.unmarried.org/experts.html

I personally don’t think that all women are waiting around for a ring. Do you feel that all committed couples should be married and why? Do you automatically assume that if a couple isn’t married it is because the man is holding out? Also I am curious if anyone agrees with any of the points of views on any of the sights above?

Week One

Hi everyone my name is Kesha and I am the proud mother of two handsome young men, ages 9 and 1. I guess I should tell you guys a little bit about myself. I am a thirtish year old junior in the Continuing Studies College at Rider University. I presently work for the State of New Jersey at Motor Vehicle Commission in the Soil/Bankruptcy Department. After dealing with irate callers for several years about various driving offenses that they haven’t committed or were wrongly accused of I decided I needed to change my career. So in 2008 I decided to go back to college and get my Bachelors in something. That something turned out to be Liberal Studies with a minor in English.

So far I am really excited about this class. This is my first blog. I’ve heard of bloggers and I’ve seen a few in passing on the internet but I have never taken the time to attempt to start one or read one for that matter. So I’m stoked to be an official blogger. Yippie for me!!! I must make excuses for myself early on, my grammar and spelling can be a little off at times so forgive me in advance for any grammar errors I make.

So far I’ve read the first three chapters of our textbook and I must say this book is definitely not your usual textbook. I like the personal feel that the author gives to the book. There were many things I agreed with and a few things I didn’t agree with but overall I think it will be a very interesting semester. I am hoping to gain a better insight into people and how they feel and view themselves as far as their gender is concerned. I am not your average girl and I have never really focused too much on being the perfect girl or cared how people view me as long as I am happy with me and I don't infringe on anyone else. I grew up with three brothers and I tend to like a lot of “unladylike things” such as; video games and basketball…well since the WNBA came into play it may not be viewed as an all male sport any more. Anyway I’m hoping this class will take me out of my comfort zone and show me other ways of view gender and how other people wish others to view them.