Week Two Eureka Moment

I am presently doing the Goldie Hawn / Kurt Russell thing or as my grandmother used to say I’m shacking up. My sweetie and I have been together for ten years and have lived together for eight of those years and we haven’t gotten married, and to be honest we aren’t in a rush to get married.

The other day while at a family cookout I was approached by an Aunt of mine whom I don’t see often. She’s in her early sixties and is very opinionated …as I assume most aunts of a certain age can be. Anyway she asked me if I was still “shacking up” with that boy. I told her that we were indeed still living together; in fact we purchased a house two years ago together. She proceeded to wonder out loud “Why don’t you make that man make an honest woman out of you?”

First I must say I am not a liar, so I don’t know how his marring me will make me an honest woman. Why can’t me marring him make him an honest man? Her statement made me feel as if I am somehow sullied by living with a man, yet he remains untarnished by our present living arrangement. Her statement also implies that I would have to force him to marry me, which is also not the case. I politely told my aunt that we are happy the way we are and I didn’t mind not being married. Even though she dropped the subject she gave me a doubtful look as if to say she didn’t think a woman could be happy without being married.

My aunt isn’t the only person who assumes these things. I have noticed that most people will automatically assume that he is the one that doesn’t want to get married or that our situation needs to be fixed in some way, and marriage is the only way to fix it.

Don’t get me wrong I want to get married one day and I support the institution of marriage. It just isn't a major priority right now. I feel like if I ran down to the justice of the piece today to get married, I would be doing it to shut people up and not because it is something I want to do. I wanted to finish school before I got married and a series of unfortunate and fortunate events occurred through the years that kept me from accomplishing my goals and postponed any nuptials. I feel like it is what it is and I really don't see what the big deal is.

In my quest to see what other people may think about this I visited a few websites and I was surprised to find a lot of sights that really spoke very harshly about people who chose to shack up. Dr. Laura is one of them http://www.drlaurablog.com/category/shacking-up/ although I found her views to be very archaic and over the top, she wasn’t the only sight that didn’t approve of shaking up. http://www.gospelpreceptor.com/Northrp6.htm . Since I’d found so many sights that disapproved of cohabitating I was pleasantly surprised to find a sight that was all about the positive aspects of living together. http://www.unmarried.org/experts.html

I personally don’t think that all women are waiting around for a ring. Do you feel that all committed couples should be married and why? Do you automatically assume that if a couple isn’t married it is because the man is holding out? Also I am curious if anyone agrees with any of the points of views on any of the sights above?